One thing I can guarantee you. You may not be a great deal wiser from my talk today but you will be a great deal older.
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Melvin Helitzer
I want to thank everybody who made this day necessary.
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Yogi Berra
I really don't deserve this but I have arthritis and I don't deserve that either.
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Jack Benny
I explained to him I had simple tastes and didn't want anything ostentatious no matter what it costs.
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Art Buchwald
I feel a very unusual sensation - if it is not indigestion I think it must be gratitude.
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Benjamin Disraeli
More Quotes By Henny Youngman
Do you know what it means to come home at night to a woman who'll give you a little love, a little affection, a little tenderness? It means you're in the wrong house, that's what it means.
When you battle with your conscience and lose, you win. -Henny Youngman, comedian and violinist (1906-1998)
You can't buy love but you can pay heavily for it.
The secret of a happy marriage remains a secret.
I wanted to become an atheist but I gave it up. They have no holidays.
